I was hiking in the Smoky Mountains National Park with a colleague, and we happened upon fellow hikers. Being the friendly sorts that we are, we stopped to take a breather and chat with our new female friends. We enjoyed resting and speaking with the women until my friend Bob smiled and asked one of them, “So when is your baby due?” The second woman’s eyes went wide, her hand covered her mouth and she slowly, carefully stepped away. Then, dead silence. The trickle of a nearby stream and the calls of birds miles away seemed deafening.

I looked at the woman who was the recipient of Bob’s query. Eyes had narrowed and jaws were clenched. She stared at Bob like a grizzly ready to attack. If you have ever made this mistake, you know “the stare.” Bob, still smiling and clueless, waited for a response. He never got one. After a few awkward moments, I grabbed him protectively by the elbow and tugged him down the trail path. “It was nice meeting you, but we really gotta go. See you down the trail!”

She wasn’t pregnant. And in case any of you aren’t sure, know this: Never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Not even if she’s in the obstetrics unit of a hospital looking like she’s hiding an oversized basketball under her gown.

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