When a wedding invitation comes in the mail, my gut instinct is to leave it in the mailbox and have the mailman take it away to someone else who might actually want to attend. This is my thought for about two seconds, before logic sets in and I realize that wedding guests are not so replaceable, that I must reply to this RSVP either way, and that I better have a pretty good reason if I plan to reply with “not attending.”

Now don’t misunderstand me: I love my family and friends, and wish nothing more than to spend time with them and celebrate their biggest moments in life. But going on my 30th year of attending weddings—quite regularly, mind you—I have had quite enough of the chicken dance, bad cake, sloppy best-man speeches, and most of all, the poorly planned wedding that causes frustration and boredom for all involved.

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