RIP My Dear Saturn, Part 1The early days
Tue, 03/24/2009 - 07:23
Question: How is the octuplets mom similar to an American CEO?
Answer: She outsourced the main process, she made more inventory than she can properly care for, and she expects bail-outs for her wasteful actions.
Saturn was my real first job… I’m Sorry—the Recession is My Fault, Part 2And we must do something about it.
Thu, 02/19/2009 - 07:13
In part 1 of this series, I blamed myself for the recession. Actually, I blamed all quality professionals but I was trying to be polite. I also explained what one of our challenges is, if we hope to have a hand in turning the economy around.
I… I’m Sorry—the Recession is My Fault, Part 1Opinion
Mon, 01/12/2009 - 15:12
Question: Name the modern-day politicians who best exemplify the Seven Deadly Sins of greed, envy, gluttony, sloth, lust, pride, and anger. The last one is a group of people, not a politician.
Answer: Please record your answers, put them in your… Black Belt for SaleIt’s not about a certificate.
Fri, 09/12/2008 - 12:42
Question: What is the proper way of wearing a Black Belt once you’ve earned it?
Answer:
as in ….
I’m a changed man. I’m an American Society for Quality (ASQ)-certified Six Sigma Black Belt. To obtain the ASQ Black Belt, I had to… Lean Order EntryHuh?
Tue, 07/15/2008 - 05:37
Question: Many modern enthusiasts claim that feng shui is Chinese for the practice of arranging objects (such as furniture) to help people achieve their goals. What is the American corporation translation of feng shui?
Answer: 5S (5 = feng, S =… Why Root-Cause Analysis Sucks in the United StatesThe Top 10 Reasons
Tue, 05/27/2008 - 22:00
Question: When the first-grade boy asked to use the washroom, the teacher said that he must first say his ABCs aloud. The little boy obediently did so, but he skipped the “P” and the “Y.” The teacher asked, “Why did you skip the ‘P’ and the ‘Y’?”… Why Root-Cause Analysis Sucks in the United StatesThe Top 10 Reasons
Mon, 05/26/2008 - 22:00
Question: When the first-grade boy asked to use the washroom, the teacher said that he must first say his ABCs aloud. The little boy obediently did so, but he skipped the “P” and the “Y.” The teacher asked, “Why did you skip the ‘P’ and the ‘Y’?”… The Greatest WasteProcesses or work habits?
Mon, 03/24/2008 - 22:00
Question:What do you call it when a quality manager is caught cheating on a quality exam?
Answer:Benchmarking
Several months ago, I taught a three-day internal-audit class to about 15 people. On the morning of the first day, Joe, the quality manager… I’m Excited About ISO 9001:2008!I was also excited for my 40th birthday.
Mon, 01/28/2008 - 22:00
Question:How did the quality consultant always exceed the expectations of his customers?
Answer:By exceeding the number of invoiced days quoted on his proposal.
¯ I’m so excited! ¯ And I just can’t hide it! ¯
Many of us still refer to ISO 9001:2000… Which Way Do You Lean?Think about it!
Mon, 11/26/2007 - 22:00
Question: How is lean like making whoopee?
Answer: I don’t know. I just wanted you to open the article. However …
Send me your funny answer. I’ll choose the best answer, that’s not too dirty or offensive, and perhaps it’ll be published in my next…
