“I appreciate your patience during this time.” Really? Really? Do I sound patient to you? Image credit: kika13
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‘I understand your frustration.” Really? My bank account is overdrawn. I’ve bounced two checks, and it’s because you made a mistake. Unless you’re also having fees charged to your account, I’m not feeling it.
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“We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.” That’s what I was told after my flight was canceled at the last minute, stranding me in an unfamiliar city overnight. Had they pulled the plug earlier in the day, I would have had options. Inconvenience? The experience went well beyond inconvenience. I wasn’t cutting it close. I planned. Still, I missed my sister’s wedding rehearsal dinner—an irreplaceable moment. Their scripted apology infuriated me. I’m angry just thinking about it.
“Thank you for your patience.” Patience? My internet has been down for three days, affecting my ability to work from home. I’ve called customer service repeatedly and gotten the same line every time. My patience isn’t a virtue; it’s a necessity forced by the situation, and their gratitude feels mocking when what I need is action and answers.
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Comments
Love the image (I've looked…
Love the image (I've looked that way when getting 'serviced'). The positive alternatives to the standard jargon are practical and easy to implement. I hope many transactional businesses (banks, phone companies, hospitality/travel) read this!
A Scripted Apology is Still A Scripted Apology, Even if Pleasant
Making it sound pleasant isn't going to correct the way I feel about missing the rehearsal dinner. I missed the only rehearsal dinner my sister will ever have, and you think saying “Here are a few ways we can fix it...” will help? I know as well as you there is nothing you could ever do to replace what has been stolen from me. Understanding the importance of real interactions and adopting a policy of 3-days; even 24-hours' notice would prevent this from happening in the first place. We all need to stop with this scripting garbage and be real. If that means we have to incur some additional expenses, so be it. If we can't afford this, then what makes us think we belong in this particular business in the first place? The best rule is if you can't today, "no quote" and learn how to for tomorrow. Don't use people as your guinea pigs.
"Customer No Service" per Clark Howard
Clark Howard, a consumer advocate who runs or ran a radio show, talked about "customer no service."
When a customer complains, the organization should realize it may actually be their last chance to keep that customer and avoid being given bad reviews all over the Internet.
I had an incident with a telecommunication company that began by allowing my DSL service to remain down for five days (they misdiagnosed the problem), and charged me for a home technician visit even though the problem was not with my internal wiring. They then refused to remove the charge, with a supervisor essentially ignoring what I was telling him/her; they persisted even after I "made sure I got their name right," a warning most people would understand. The company did reverse the charges after a Better Business Bureau complaint, and then I had to tidy up the complaints I had meanwhile sent to the PA Attorney General and FTC. The bad review I posted remained online, although I did modify it to reflect the fact that they finally did reverse the charge although that did not change the fact that the problem happened in the first place. Isn't it so much easier to do the job right the first time???
Service benchmark
My benchmark good service is what happened when staying at a major Las Vegas casino/hotel (rooms and employees numbering in the thousands) and my mobility scooter, rented from the hotel, disappeared from valet parking check area.
The attendant immediately informed me that it was missing, security had been notified, and his supervisor would be along shortly to update me. Within three minutes, his supervisor was there, informed me that there were no scooters available, but accommodations were in process. He also informed me that the operations manager was also on his way and would be there shortly. Within another three or four minutes the operations manager (not a manager, The Manager) appeared, apologizing for taking so long to get there. He informed me that, as they had no more rentals available, one had been ordered, rush delivery, from a local supplier.
Within another 15 minutes, that unit was delivered and the manager (who had remained with me the entire time) had let me know that all the rental charges would be comped. Oddly enough, it seems that every time I bought tickets for a show, I got upgraded! … and not just on that visit.
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