This is a story that, if columns in Quality Digest Daily had a rating, would be rated PG 13—not suitable for children and sensitive adults. As the story progresses, you will see why. You have been warned.

As you may have surmised from previous columns, I have been retired since 2003. Therefore telling this story about an incident while I was employed is outside the bounds of the seven-year statute of limitations.

After retiring from a 30-year career at Comerica Bank in October 1993, I was named director of the Michigan Quality Council by then-Governor John Engler. The council is a state quality award program patterned after the Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award program. It encourages organizations to benchmark against a series of seven different categories such as leadership, customer focus, and results to improve their quality and performance excellence. As many of you quality professionals know, the Baldrige awards are presented each year by the president of the United States. During my tenure, I had the privilege of traveling to Washington, D.C. for the award ceremony and once met Presidents Clinton and Bush. But enough said about that; let’s get back to my phone number.

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