One Lump or Two?

For those special people on Santa’s list

Christmas morning is an exciting time for millions of boys and girls who have been good all year. Heaped under a beautifully decorated tree will be an assortment of gifts—some electronic gizmos, a doll or two, some sports equipment, and maybe some clothes. Years ago when we were growing up, there might even have been a buggy whip or butter churn (just kidding). But back then an Erector set or a Sears J.C. Higgins bicycle was a most welcome gift from Santa. And for youngsters who might have been a bit ornery during the year, there was always the proverbial lump of coal in a sock. We lived in a home with a coal-fired furnace, so there was an abundance of the black ore, and most of the time it seemed to appear in my or my brothers’ socks... for whatever reason.

I’d like to revive that tradition and share a lump of coal with people who I think did something irritating or upsetting, or bizarre or stupid, during the past year that would qualify them for this special distinction. Let’s call this “Santa’s Naughty Boys and Girls List.”

Big, sooty lumps of coal go to:

…

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Comments

Alvin and the Chipmunks

Have you heard the song that starts "Chipmunks roasting on an open fire...Hot sauce dripping from their toes...? I think you would enloy it.

Merry Christmas!

Lumps for me too

Left lane Camper - You know who you are, come off the ramp and head straight for the left lane, to cruise along 10 - 15 MPH UNDER the speed of traffic. Hey idjit, move to the right and let us pass.

Mall parking Lot

Hello Bill:

If I may, I would like to suggest that the first mistake related to waiting for mall parking spots is that you went to the mall. Next, I don't remember making any commitment or agreement that if I made the same mistake of going to the mall, then I am also obligated to leave my parking spot to meet your cycle time.

I agree with most of your light hearted list but I must admit that I may be that person for whom you are waiting to exit a parking spot. That is, if you are waiting somewhere other than the mall.

I could use a parking lot etiqeutte refresher I guess. Where should we adjust our mirror, seat and defrost the windows? On the road?

Seasons Greetings! Opps, I mean Merry Christmas!

Over for the Chipmunks?

I don't know Bill. Apparently you are still hearing them on the radio. That's one sign that it might not be over. Plus now you are giving them press! Sounds like a plug to me. They could be making a comeback - especially after new attention drawn to them on the pages of Quality Digest. I think I'll go park at the mall and wait for one of their songs to come on!